Forgiveness ... Yes or No?

I have decided to give up forgiveness!

It's just way too much fun to be angry at the woman who dumped me or the guy who cut me off in traffic, or the parent that ignored me, etc. etc.

I mean, we are creative beings right?

I can use this Divine creativity to think up unique ways to get back at the woman who dumped me, the guy who cut me off in traffic or the parent who ignored me and messed me up for ever having a successful loving relationship.

Let's see .... thinking ...creating ...

GOT IT!

1. I could show up where I know she'll be, that's for the woman who dumped me, with a tall model who is hanging all over me. PDA galore!

(Now why I would think I am trading up from a dancer, Pilates teacher or Yoga instructor to a model is another story.)

2. I could get real close to the guy who cut me off and turn on my brights for a mile or two, even if I have to drive away from my original destination. It's okay. It'll annoy the heck out of him.And isn't that what's most important?

3. And Mom or Dad, who ignored me and gave me commitment issues? I'll be sure to make them watch me pick the wrong gal time after time, for decades, bringing a different lover home for every holiday and whine and vent and complain to them on the phone, when I get rid of them in the intervening months. Maybe even blame them for it.

Yeah, that's the ticket!

“Mom, Dad – you messed me up, no wonder I pick women who have one foot out the door or who aren't really committed to me and the relationship, or, contrary to what they claim, a commitment at all.”  

That'll show 'em.

A fabulous long-term grudge for the parental unit(s).

I'm feeling very creative here. I could go on with more great examples, but I'll let you come up with some on your own. This is great! 

Okay, declaration time:

I'm giving up forgiveness

and enjoying a life full of resentment and blame.

Years of sweet revenge...

...and loss of dignity, self-respect, the good people in my life, the healthy minded in my life, any chance at a real/healthy/fulfilling love life; or wisdom, beauty, and peace of mind. I can look forward to years of slowly having my health eaten away with higher blood pressure and heart rate, digestive problems, depression, anxiety, and the pills to "combat" them. And everywhere else in my life:  constantly confused, giving mixed messages, being the wounded little boy, bitching and moaning all the time, whining to friends for sympathy over and over again, and living a life with self-pity and bitterness surrounding me all the time. I will also constantly attract, demonstrate, mock-up, manifest, and experience …. exactly …. what I put out:  misery, pain, shame, pseudo-happiness, and dis-ease of all kinds.

Oy, not so good, huh?

Maybe I should rethink this non-forgiveness thing!

Confucius said:

To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.
                   

Choice, it's all about choice.

Ernest Holmes wrote in his book, IT'S UP TO YOU:  
We are like the sculptor having both the training and the tools with which to work, standing before a huge block of marble, admiring its beauty yet never turning a hand, and all the while wondering why an interesting statue does not emerge – entirely forgetful of why he studied for years and why he has tools with which to work. We are like a man who hates darkness and sits alone in a house completely wired electricity, praying for the light yet never moving a finger to switch on the powerful illumination. Will it be strange if future generations, knowing this, call us stupid?

What will you choose? Resentment, pain, shame, blame, a whirlwind of physical and emotional setbacks? A life of hiding behind a wall of protection, maybe unconsciously and in the name of self-preservation or protection from past mistakes, but yet a wall that you only peek over now and again until what should be comfortable, but is not your "normal" (a habit that you have built into your reasoning of pushing the good away), becomes uncomfortable and it gets too scary? Then you just fall back behind that wall. 

Or will you choose to know and live the Truth, and use that knowledge and Power to take the leap? Maybe you will have to have the courage to ask for assistance in the step over the cliff, that's perfectly fine. But step nonetheless!

Affirm with me:

I choose to forgive you and to forgive me.

I choose love!

                                                                                                                               Photo by Tara Yarte

NAMASTE